Look, I hate to burst your bubble, but your PC build isn’t unique, okay? In fact, there’s an entire category of people just like you, who went with the exact same part list, because you all think alike. So pop on your Kevlar vest boys because today I’m taking shots, and my goodness there are some spicy hot takes in here. I’m warning you here, feelings might get hurt. Because yes, this entire post is just an excuse to make fun of you. But, there’s also more of myself in this post than I’m willing to admit. So without further ado, here’s what your PC setup says about you!
People who own an Intel i9/Ryzen 9 or better CPU
If this is you, what are you doing? You know your PC doesn’t need this much processing power, only like five percent of the people who own one of these actually require them. We’re talking about like, animators that need it for their work, and they don’t even know or care about it at all. The only reason you got one was solely so you can tell your friends you have the best in your PC.
But look. I don’t know how to break this to you, but the only other people who are impressed by this are equally insecure PC enthusiasts, and you’re all just gonna play this game where you’re constantly comparing yourselves to each other and no one will be happy. Your wallet took a hit to feed your ego but the meal amounted to one of those little slices of pizza you get for $7 at 3am in the city after a night out. It’s like eating air dawg, and you’re gonna be left empty inside.
So if you acquired either of these in 2021, you either just got into the game and don’t know any better, or you’ve got mother’s money to burn because no one in their right mind is buying one of these right now. Have you seen those prices? You could like, get a pure breed dog for that amount go and live an infinitely more fulfilling life. And don’t you dare come around here and tell me you bought one from a scalper, because if that’s the case, I’m gonna give you a smack.
Now if you’re someone who owns an all in one, I’m so sorry. Because having one of these means you’re in too deep. The second you think a CPU fan doesn’t cut it and that you need a water block; it’s over. This isn’t just a fun hobby anymore. You either work in the industry, or you’ve committed to the lifestyle so hard, you can’t even remember why you enjoy it in the first place.
One day, you even caught yourself about to comment on a Youtube video where someone’s AIO wasn’t mounted correctly. About to start an argument with BattlefieldMaster_69 just so you can feel something again. And at this point, all that’s left for you to do is look yourself in the mirror and ask how you got here; because you’ve become the very thing you hated most.
RGB Power Supply
Now the thing about you is that you don’t actually have money, but you want everyone to think you have money. But you’re flexing on ’em with something they’re not even gonna see. Because you knew your case doesn’t show off the PSU, but you bought one anyway because you couldn’t help yourself. You figured hey, I bought everything else in the PC to show off, why stop here?
Now if you own an RGB PSU, we can assume that you’re also big into fashion, because you’re obviously trying to dress up the ugly.
I’m sorry buddy; buts it’s what’s on the inside that counts. I mean if it isn’t even at least bronze rated; what are you doing with yourself?
Open Case, Non RGB RAM
Look. You know it; you’re ashamed of your hobby. You’re into it enough that you’ll get a case you can peer into and admire late at night on Discord with the boys. But you’re worried that when you invite your Tinder date over, and you’re both on the bed, The Office playing muted on the TV, Frank Ocean on the speakers (if you know what I’m saying), suddenly they’re gonna notice it out of the corner of their eye like, “babe, what’s that light emitting from your computer that’s cycling through the ROYGBIV colour spectrum?”. Fearing they’re gonna leave the second you announce “honeybun, its 32GB of Thermaltake Z-One 3600MHz Toughram”.
But let’s be honest with ourselves here dawg, if you have a PC with even half the stuff I’ve mentioned so far in your case right now, what tinder date are we talking about?
Look, I was once like you but for real, just embrace your gremlin lifestyle. The rest of us that already have, are so much happier. Plus I’m convinced; those who look down on RGB RAM, secretly want it. Like guys and high heels. Are telling me you don’t want to be 3.5 inches taller and feel incredibly empowered!?! An entire world of colourful LEDs exists out there for you okay? Frolic amongst it all.
So there are two types of people in this category. The first are PC enthusiasts that are so into this stuff that a micro case is your secondary PC, and your wife isn’t happy about it. You know that money was supposed to be for her sister’s birthday present and cat food, and here you are spending it on a backup PC. You’ve got a problem man. You’re addicted to the dopamine hit that comes with buying new PC parts, but you can’t justify upgrading your primary rig because it’s already got all the best stuff in it. Take a step back, get some help.
Now, the other person who owns this, the guy who has a micro case as their only system? Look dawg, someone’s gonna have to say it, and it’s unfortunate that it’s me, but you’re trying waaay too hard to be quirky. I’m not convinced anyone owns one of these because of legitimate space limitations; they just want to be unique. “Ooh look at me I can still fit all the best parts in there and it’s only half the size heehee!” It’s the tech equivalent of wearing overalls. You’re the type of person who goes around reminding everyone of how lol random XD you are. “Ooh give me attention; I un-ironically really like Star Wars prequels, my favourite animal is a capybara!”
And you wanna know what the worst part is? I am so close to being the person. The Tower 100? I trust that thing with my life. My first born? Natural birth? Nah man. I want that baby bred from and incubated in the turquoise t100, Mewtwo style.
Now obviously we’re not talking about a PC part here, but I think your setup is often just as telling as what’s in your case, and I mean how could I not include this one? You know exactly who I’m talking about here.
If you’re the person who owns one of these bad boys, you’re somehow both into self-help, but out of everyone in your circle of friends; you have your life together the least. How does that even work? You’re also the person that gives the most relationship advice, despite being in a toxic one yourself.
Now you obviously value investing in yourself (I mean you dropped a phat stack of cash for this) and thus you claim to be into health and fitness. And yeah, you might look a little cutie patootie. But I know your secret. You’ve been battling a demon named Red Rock Deli Honey Soy Chicken chips for as long as you can remember, and an empty packet of them spends way more time at that desk than you do.
You also constantly reiterate how much it has changed your life to anyone who will give even you the slightest bit of attention. But we all know you’re only doing it to stop the buyer’s remorse from setting in. Like if you say it enough times, you’ll start to believe the lie that this was worth the money.
Can you tell I don’t have one and I’m very salty about it?
Closed Case – No Tempered Glass, No RGB
Alright guys, the main event. The person who owns this one right here? They’re the alpha. They run this game, you understand? They have some big boy beefy parts in their PC, and they don’t even feel the need to show it off because they’re that secure in themselves and their hobby. They know what’s in their PC and that’s enough for them. They’re not trying to impress anyone, because they already feel good on the inside like, what? How? Every one of us who are into PCs; should aspire to be like this king. God bless.
Wholesome End Note
So we had a lot of fun here today, didn’t we? Some observations. Some laughs, some light bullying. I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m back in high school. Only this time I’m not on the receiving end and I kinda get why Travis did this to me now, I feel pretty powerful not gonna lie. I hope you didn’t feel too personally attacked reading anything on this list, although if you did, at least I’ll know there was some merit in what I’ve said.
However, please don’t let any of it stop you from building the PC you want to build! If a micro case makes you happy, get one! I’m just goofing here; my stinky opinion shouldn’t be the difference.
In hindsight, I think that fashion analogy was actually some tall brain stuff, because comparatively what your PC is made up of and looks like, is an expression of your beautiful unique identity too, so personalize, stylise, go nuts with it!
So what did you think about my judgement of what your PC setup says about you? Be sure to let me know down in the comment section below! Also, remember to check out the rest of our Tech posts here, or head over to our YouTube channel for more awesome content from us!